Do you know that depression is attributed to be the major cause of suicide? It is the last stage a victim gets before taking his or her life. It is reputed to be the underlying cause of suicide because it is the melting pot of all the aforementioned reasons. Shame, regret, guilt, financial loss, and terminal illness if not handled well initially could degenerate into depression. Depression is a state in life or a situation where one lacks excitement about life. This is a situation where life is seen as hopeless, meaningless, or not worthy of living. Many who have killed themselves cited ‘life not worthy of living’ as the reason for their action.
Depression is a period of great sadness, grief, and sorrow for the victim. It is the inevitable end of an unfulfilled life. A detailed or in-depth analysis of depression may be far beyond the scope of this post. However, having a fair knowledge of it will still be useful in understanding why men commit suicide. Depression can also arise from emotional trauma caused by denial, loss of a loved one, loneliness, soured relationship.
Let me ask, how do you handle your feelings in the face of challenges in life? To a large extent, your feeling is an indicator of your emotions. Positive feelings like happiness and satisfaction translate to fulfillment while negative feelings like anger, unhappiness, and bitterness can be signs of a lack of fulfillment in life. And these negative feelings if not well handled can lead to an emotional breakdown and eventually depression. At this level, one experiences the rottenness or malaise of the spirit and soul.
The State of Your Mind Matters
Hence, depression occurs when your soul or mind which is the citadel of your spirit, and your emotion is sick. At this point, the human spirit is no longer sound and becomes weak. And our mind loses the immunity to resist any external manipulative influence. In this state of the mind, we often lose touch with reality and our minds easily get corrupted with reasons why we must not live or reasons why life is so unfair to us and how nobody cares about us. So in the middle of crisis or challenging times we must utterly guard our minds to muster the strength to wade off any inordinate manipulation.
Moreover, whether you will conquer depression is a matter of your feeling. That you have money or you are rich does not mean you cannot be depressed. Money does not give happiness rather happiness is a choice we make. This is why as I mentioned earlier someone with the best brand, financially robust, and sophisticated with all the money in the world could still commit suicide. It still boils down to how we feel. Feeling defines our emotions and emotion is the key to fulfillment.
Your Feeling Matters
How do you feel? You must feel good and great at all times no matter the odds of life against you. All of us must understand that the world we live in is an imperfect and rugged terrain. And that so long as we are here we are prone to adversity, challenges, and troubles. So the choice is ours to exhibit positive feelings even in the face of life-threatening challenges. We must choose to make ourselves happy even when no one does. Understanding this gives us an edge over depression. Are you under the plaque of depression in life? There is a remedy and this involves a healing process. Let us proceed to the next section where I shall explore the healing process for depression.
The Healing Process
Since depression emanates from the sickness or malaise of the mind we can aver that it requires a healing process. This healing process is not the one done by administering drugs or anti-depressants because there is no amount of drugs or anti-depressants that can heal depression. They can only suppress depression temporarily. And the depressed person in order to check this disorder may end up with the abuse of substances. This can result in drug addiction another social menace. Hence the solution to depression does not lie wholly in drugs as drugs can give us that temporary effect or feeling of relaxation. There is a healing process for depression.
Unburden Your Heart
A depressed person is like a sinking ship. And to salvage a sinking ship you must unburden it by throwing some of the loads overboard the ship into the water to lighten the ship.
And we being exceedingly tossed with a tempest; the next day they lightened the ship… And when they had eaten enough they lightened the ship, and cast out the wheat into the sea – Acts 27: 18, 38.
The first step to initiate the healing process is to unburden your mind. And to do this you must talk about your problems or challenges. Confide in someone. The more you share it with that person the more the pressure lessens, but if you don’t unburden and the pressure becomes so much it can break or weigh down your spirit. A couple lost their only son, initially, they were inconsolable. It seems that their world has ground to a halt. They cried until there were no more tears in their eyes. People, family members, friends, and well-wishers came around to comfort and encourage them to no avail. They were deeply traumatized by this great loss. The more people console them the more hurtful it became. This continued for months until they took the bold step to unburden their hearts.
He confided in me that the turning point came when he and his wife started to talk about their late son. His death brought them even closer. It became a routine that after everyone is gone when two of them are alone they will talk about their son. They would cry and at times laugh as they remember his life and how he has impacted their lives positively. By talking about their problem they were unburdening their hearts and it gets to a point his death never hurt them again instead they were happy and grateful to God for being part of his life.
Confide In Someone
You must unburden your heart this is a sure way to handle depression. Talk about your problems in your most challenging moment. As you talk about it always emphasize only your ability to come out unscathed by depression. Discussing your problems will in a way diffuse the pressure of the burden. Like I said earlier the pressure may cause you emotional breakdown if you refuse to unburden your heart. Find someone to confide in, it could be your spouse, friend, counselor, or anyone you trust.
Nevertheless, you must determine who to share your problems with. It is pertinent I chip in here that not everyone is qualified to be privy to your challenges. Not everyone is worthy to share in your problem even the so-called ‘professional’ counselors. They too have their own burden of problems and are also prone to depression. So you must be careful in choosing your own confidant. Records have it that some people are still susceptible to depression no matter their pedigree as regards depression. A typical example is the irreconcilable case of a US-based medical psychologist who committed suicide. This individual is supposed to be a rallying point or counselor to the mentally depressed or challenged person but he falls below expectations.
You Have a Confidant in God
On this note, I would like to introduce you to the most qualified person to share in your problems.
When your soul is cast down or depressed, and you are disquieted within your spirit, or you are at your lowest ebb in life. When there is no joy or peace within you and you are contemplating suicide as an option. There is always one person you can turn to – God. You must turn to him; he is your best confidant. Feel free to unburden your heart to him and ask him to fill every vacuum created in your mind and never again will you hurt within. You can also ask him to flood your mind with joy and peace. He will initiate and finish the healing process of your mind.
This is the best solution to this social menace called suicide. Once again we must embrace God, the owner and giver of life then we can have the courage to say no to this weird voice suggesting suicide. Unburden your heart.
Get my book ‘The Threshold of Life‘ and read more about the topic.
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