Category: Success Unplugged

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How to heal from Depression.

how to heal from depression

Do you know that depression is attributed to be the major cause of suicide? It is the last stage a victim gets before taking his or her life. It is reputed to be the underlying cause of suicide because it is the melting pot of all the aforementioned reasons. Shame, regret, guilt, financial loss, and terminal illness if not handled well initially could degenerate into depression. Depression is a state in life or a situation where one lacks excitement about life. This is a situation where life is seen as hopeless, meaningless, or not worthy of living. Many who have killed themselves cited ‘life not worthy of living’ as the reason for their action. 

Depression is a period of great sadness, grief, and sorrow for the victim. It is the inevitable end of an unfulfilled life. A detailed or in-depth analysis of depression may be far beyond the scope of this post. However, having a fair knowledge of it will still be useful in understanding why men commit suicide. Depression can also arise from emotional trauma caused by denial, loss of a loved one, loneliness, soured relationship.

Let me ask, how do you handle your feelings in the face of challenges in life? To a large extent, your feeling is an indicator of your emotions. Positive feelings like happiness and satisfaction translate to fulfillment while negative feelings like anger, unhappiness, and bitterness can be signs of a lack of fulfillment in life. And these negative feelings if not well handled can lead to an emotional breakdown and eventually depression. At this level, one experiences the rottenness or malaise of the spirit and soul. 

The State of Your Mind Matters

Hence, depression occurs when your soul or mind which is the citadel of your spirit, and your emotion is sick. At this point, the human spirit is no longer sound and becomes weak. And our mind loses the immunity to resist any external manipulative influence. In this state of the mind, we often lose touch with reality and our minds easily get corrupted with reasons why we must not live or reasons why life is so unfair to us and how nobody cares about us. So in the middle of crisis or challenging times we must utterly guard our minds to muster the strength to wade off any inordinate manipulation.

Moreover, whether you will conquer depression is a matter of your feeling. That you have money or you are rich does not mean you cannot be depressed. Money does not give happiness rather happiness is a choice we make. This is why as I mentioned earlier someone with the best brand, financially robust, and sophisticated with all the money in the world could still commit suicide. It still boils down to how we feel. Feeling defines our emotions and emotion is the key to fulfillment.

Your Feeling Matters 

How do you feel? You must feel good and great at all times no matter the odds of life against you. All of us must understand that the world we live in is an imperfect and rugged terrain. And that so long as we are here we are prone to adversity, challenges, and troubles. So the choice is ours to exhibit positive feelings even in the face of life-threatening challenges. We must choose to make ourselves happy even when no one does. Understanding this gives us an edge over depression. Are you under the plaque of depression in life? There is a remedy and this involves a healing process. Let us proceed to the next section where I shall explore the healing process for depression.

The Healing Process

Since depression emanates from the sickness or malaise of the mind we can aver that it requires a healing process. This healing process is not the one done by administering drugs or anti-depressants because there is no amount of drugs or anti-depressants that can heal depression. They can only suppress depression temporarily. And the depressed person in order to check this disorder may end up with the abuse of substances. This can result in drug addiction another social menace. Hence the solution to depression does not lie wholly in drugs as drugs can give us that temporary effect or feeling of relaxation. There is a healing process for depression.

Unburden Your Heart

A depressed person is like a sinking ship. And to salvage a sinking ship you must unburden it by throwing some of the loads overboard the ship into the water to lighten the ship.

And we being exceedingly tossed with a tempest; the next day they lightened the ship… And when they had eaten enough they lightened the ship, and cast out the wheat into the sea – Acts 27: 18, 38.

The first step to initiate the healing process is to unburden your mind. And to do this you must talk about your problems or challenges. Confide in someone. The more you share it with that person the more the pressure lessens, but if you don’t unburden and the pressure becomes so much it can break or weigh down your spirit. A couple lost their only son, initially, they were inconsolable. It seems that their world has ground to a halt. They cried until there were no more tears in their eyes. People, family members, friends, and well-wishers came around to comfort and encourage them to no avail. They were deeply traumatized by this great loss. The more people console them the more hurtful it became. This continued for months until they took the bold step to unburden their hearts.

He confided in me that the turning point came when he and his wife started to talk about their late son. His death brought them even closer. It became a routine that after everyone is gone when two of them are alone they will talk about their son. They would cry and at times laugh as they remember his life and how he has impacted their lives positively. By talking about their problem they were unburdening their hearts and it gets to a point his death never hurt them again instead they were happy and grateful to God for being part of his life. 

Confide In Someone

You must unburden your heart this is a sure way to handle depression. Talk about your problems in your most challenging moment. As you talk about it always emphasize only your ability to come out unscathed by depression. Discussing your problems will in a way diffuse the pressure of the burden. Like I said earlier the pressure may cause you emotional breakdown if you refuse to unburden your heart. Find someone to confide in, it could be your spouse, friend, counselor, or anyone you trust.  

Nevertheless, you must determine who to share your problems with. It is pertinent I chip in here that not everyone is qualified to be privy to your challenges. Not everyone is worthy to share in your problem even the so-called ‘professional’ counselors. They too have their own burden of problems and are also prone to depression. So you must be careful in choosing your own confidant. Records have it that some people are still susceptible to depression no matter their pedigree as regards depression. A typical example is the irreconcilable case of a US-based medical psychologist who committed suicide. This individual is supposed to be a rallying point or counselor to the mentally depressed or challenged person but he falls below expectations.

You Have a Confidant in God

On this note, I would like to introduce you to the most qualified person to share in your problems.

When your soul is cast down or depressed, and you are disquieted within your spirit, or you are at your lowest ebb in life. When there is no joy or peace within you and you are contemplating suicide as an option. There is always one person you can turn to – God. You must turn to him; he is your best confidant. Feel free to unburden your heart to him and ask him to fill every vacuum created in your mind and never again will you hurt within. You can also ask him to flood your mind with joy and peace. He will initiate and finish the healing process of your mind.

This is the best solution to this social menace called suicide. Once again we must embrace God, the owner and giver of life then we can have the courage to say no to this weird voice suggesting suicide.  Unburden your heart.

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Grasshopper Mentality: How to Eliminate Wrong Mentality

Grasshopper mentality

Grasshopper mentality is a wrong mentality you must deal with for you to command an exceptional and unbridled successful lifestyle. A wrong mentality is a bane to success. This mentality is a product, an offspring of a negative worldview, and as far as an exceptional lifestyle is concerned it is a red flag that must be carefully avoided. Grasshopper mentality in its entire ramification is harmful and injurious to fulfillment. That is to say, a blissful and fulfilled life is impossible with such a wrong mentality. Unfortunately, many are enmeshed in inexplicable situations because of this wrong mentality.

The grasshopper mentality is in full manifestation when one;

  • views or sees herself as defeated even without putting up a fight or trying to salvage the situation. It is a defeatist mentality.
  • sees self as too insignificant to make any impact in life.
  • feels helpless or deficient in the face of challenges,
  • a feeling of inferiority complex, a condition where one sees nothing good about self, especially when compared to others.
  • inability to see beyond your present predicament. It is a lack of vision. It is the myopic mentality
And they brought up an evil report of the land … saying, the land, through which we have gone to search, it is a land that eats up the inhabitants thereof; all the people that we saw in it are men of great stature. And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak which come of giants: and we were in our sights as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight, (Numbers 13:32, 33).

This kind of mentality will only make one see the invincibility of their problems or challenges. Under the influence of this mentality, an individual is going to magnify problems more than the ability to contain them. Grasshopper mentality no doubt comes with unmitigated disasters. It inhibits you from making attempts at success; hence you are unable to put your ability and talents to the test. It also leads to retrogression, and stagnation, and makes you accept defeat without even making an effort to redeem your situation. Above all, it keeps you in perpetual fear of the unknown. It is a wrong mentality and very unhealthy for conquest. Success cannot thrive under a gloomy atmosphere saturated with such a mentality. You must kill this wrong mentality. Do everything possible to eliminate it.

How to Eliminate Grasshopper Mentality

The invincibility of the WillPower

The first step is what I have termed the ‘Invincibility of the willpower’. You must understand that no matter how strong or invincible your challenges may be they will always succumb to the superior power of your will. Remember ‘where there is a will there is always a way’. Have you been enmeshed for so long in the fetters of grasshopper mentality? Do you want to disentangle yourself and succeed in life? Then you must unleash your willpower. Resolve within you that you can never be clipped down by this wrong mentality. You must determine, and dare to stand out because you are made of steel.

Avoid all Forms of Comparison

It is important you don’t compare yourself with anyone. It is not a wise thing to do. Doing so might expose your inadequacies and deficiencies. This will eventually lead to an inferiority complex a situation where you conclude that others are better off than you. You will then see yourself as not good enough compared to other people. As much as possible you must understand that life is in stages and every man’s rating is according to his capacity. So what matters most is that at every stage of life, you find yourself making sure you have the capacity to prove your mettle and progress to the next stage or level of life. Don’t let the achievements of others intimidate you, you can surpass them if you can be the best you can be at every stage of life you find yourself.

Believe in Your Ability

Thirdly, no matter the invincibility of your challenges you must never doubt your ability; you have all it takes to overcome them. You are by default, fully loaded with abilities to dominate in life even over challenges

And God blessed them, and God said unto them …., have dominion. – Genesis 1: 28.

No matter what, don’t accept defeat in any challenge. Don’t imbibe the defeatist mentality. You have inborn abilities to have dominion in life. You are to defeat challenges, not the other way around. Have the dominion mentality, not the grasshopper mentality. Believe in your abilities.

Look Beyond Your Challenges

Finally, you must see beyond your present predicament. You can only see the silver lining in the cloud of success when you raise your sight above your present situation. Don’t be myopic in your view of problems, take your eyes off your problems and instead look at your abilities. You can attest to the fact that challenges are not forever. For instance, some months or years back you were grappling with some intimidating challenges that seem to sink you but today they have fizzled out even as they appeared. Don’t kill yourself because of your problems they are not worth dying for; rather be optimistic, hopeful, and patient as you do your best believing that you will soon overcome them.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us – Romans 8: 18

Finally, your challenges are not worth dying for, look beyond your challenges then you will see the glorious light at the end of the tunnel. Remember absolute power resides with God. He is the source of the right mentality

Imagine, believe, dare the Impossible

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Creativity: Drawing from the Creative Well

Creativity

Creativity is a skill you must possess if you want to be exceptional in life. It is the hub of success and the oil that greases the wheel of success. Creativity is an incredible means to carve your niche and accentuate your success signature in everything you do. It may interest you to know that many are longing to drink from the spring of creativity that flow from within you. And that you carry within you a creative well where you can draw creative ideas for creative exploits in life. However, creativity is a product of conquest. It requires strength, courage, ability, and tact to be creative.

And David was then in a hold, and the garrison of the Philistines was in Bethlehem. And David longed and said; oh that one would give me drink of the water of the well of Bethlehem, which is by the gate. And three mighty men brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem, that was by the gate and brought and took it and brought it to David (2Samuel 23:14,15,16)

Breaking into the realm of creativity is by any standard not a mean feat. And to draw ideas from the creative wells is like breaking through a military garrison. For instance, it took the bravery of the three mighty men mentioned above to break through a stronghold with a dense or heavy military presence to draw water from the well of Bethlehem. For your information a garrison is a forte, stronghold, castle, or city with a troop of soldiers, it can be a legion, battalion, brigade, platoon, etc, who are there to defend, guard, and protect it against external military siege or incursion. 

Now you can understand the plight of David, he was in a hold, the garrison held him back and he could not enter. However, it took the bravery of just three men to break through the dense military garrison. Such bravery is a prerequisite to invading the creative realm. The creative well is well-defended and protected and only the brave can draw out of this well. And drawing creative ideas from the creative well is akin to breaking through a garrison. You are creative only when you are able to draw creative ideas from the creative well. However, this is only possible by conquest over strong challenges. You can only storm the creative realm by your conquest.

Drawing from the Creative Well

The creative idea as the source of creative experience comes via inspiration. In other words, creative ideas are transmitted or dispatched to us from the infinite realm through inspiration. Hence, inspiration becomes a channel to tap into the creative domain. Another channel through which you can tap into the creative realm is meditation. It remains a sure way to draw creative ideas from the creative well. It is also a gateway to infinite intelligence. Meditation enhances focus, mental clarity, and emotional calmness. Meditation is a deliberate process of focusing one’s mind on specific thoughts. Through it, you break into the creative realm and drink from the spring of creativity. Check my post on meditation. But understand that the magnitude of your meditation determines the extent of your connection to the infinite realm. You too can be successful; you can break into the creative realm, and draw from the creative well.

However, you must focus enough to receive signals from the creative domain. Your mind must be fine-tuned in order to receive these creative signals at a higher frequency. Creative ideas will still elude you until you fine-tune your mind.

The Lord possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old… When there were no depths; I was brought forth; when there were no fountains abounding with water.  Before the mountains settled, before the hills was I brought forth.(Proverbs 8: 22, 24, 25)

Finally, to break into the creative domain you must meditate on God. God controls the entire creative domain. He is the source of creative ideas which made him successful in all his creations. Are you thinking of gaining access to the creative well?  Then focus on God.

Inspiration the Soul of Creativity

 Greatness is more than potential. It is the execution of that potential. Beyond the raw talent, you need the appropriate training. You need the discipline. You need the inspiration. You need the drive – Eric A. Burns

On this fateful day back in school we returned from lectures to the hostel to find our roommate reading. And he was doing that with the Audio CD Player playing at the peak of its volume. Immediately we asked him why he was playing the music at such a loud volume knowing he was studying and preparing for the exams. Then surprisingly the young man looked at us unabashed and told us that he likes listening to the R&B genre of music because it gives him inspiration whenever he listens to them.

Another laughable incident was about a Civil Engineering student who on a very hot afternoon while he was drafting a technical drawing almost consumed a packet of cigarettes, and when asked why he was smoking that much on a sunny afternoon he said, ‘it is for concentration’. ‘I draw well whenever I smoke’. Could this be an inspiration? It is different strokes for different folks. So what then is inspiration? Inspiration refers to an unconscious burst of creativity in literary, musical, or other artistic endeavors.

Inspiration and Creativity 


The concept derives from the Latin word ‘inspirare’ which means to ‘breathe into’. It is worth noting that two vital elements fall within the purview of inspiration. First, it is an unconscious occurrence, it is involuntary, and hence we have no control over it. It comes like packets or flashes of ideas and if it is not carefully grasped can slip out of our reach. It comes like a divine influence; it is breathed into us from a higher source. Like a phone battery plugged into a power bank, there is an inspiration bank we all must connect to draw creative ideas. However, the level of our connection determines how well-disposed we are to creativity.

Second, it is solely for creativity and the level of inspiration we get determines our creative ability. How exceptional or creative we depend on the understanding that comes from inspiration. Inspiration is a divine influence or action that can stir up motivation for excellent, or exceptional performance in any endeavor. It comes with a sudden surge of brilliant or timely ideas which boost our creative abilities and also enable us to create values with these ideas. It is the life of every enterprise. Any enterprise on the verge of collapse needs the inspiration to bounce back to life. And to do that there is a need for these brilliant and timely ideas which are a product of inspiration.

The whole essence of inspiration is creativity; hence it is the soul of creativity, whereas the breath of every creative soul is ideas. Hence, when the creative mind stops drawing creative ideas from the creative well via inspiration creativity dies. Every known and notable achievement or invention in any field of endeavor whether in science and technology, the music industry, poetry, literature, filmmaking, communication, marketing, etc is a product of creativity. Thus it becomes leverage for success. As we all know creativity is a springboard for success and inspiration is a major source. Brilliant ideas for success are conceived the very moment inspiration comes. Therefore, creativity is a prerequisite for success as you need it to understand the fundamentals of any endeavor, be it business, music, arts, literature, science, or technology.

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How to make a Difference in Life.

make a difference

In everything you do, you must endeavor to make a difference and be exceptional in life. Your major aim should be to stand out among your contemporaries. The idea of making a difference in life is that you are at the center of it. Hence, the decisions you make, your values in life, your thought pattern, attitudes, and behaviors are all instrumental to your success and fulfillment in life. The same elements influence your worldview and outlook. Understand that you can never make a difference in life with a negative mindset.

It is necessary we overhaul our decision-making process, thought patterns, attitudes, behaviors, and values, and galvanize them toward a positive worldview. However, to make a difference and become exceptional in life you must change your mindset. You must reinvent yourself because you are the prime factor of your success.  So, work on your mindset if you want to make a difference in life.

According to George Bernard Shaw, “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”. Changing your mind is the master key you need to unlock a world of positive difference. Hence, success is impossible without a change of mindset. The state of your mind determines your approach to life, and your approach to life determines whether you will make any difference or not. This is the reason why you need to work on your mindset. So in this post, we shall look at the process involved in making a difference. Remember, it revolves around you.

Clean up

The first step in making a difference is to clean up your mind. It is necessary that you do away with every awful habit, behavior, and attitude that is toxic to the mind. And doing this requires a certain level of self-discipline and commitment. Even though it is said that old habits die hard but with your persistence, you can get rid of them. You must get rid of some awful habits like procrastination, assumption, complacency, quitting too easily, blame games, stretching your debt limit, etc. In addition, you must deal with anger, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, fear, and distraction.

All these habits are toxic and make the mind unsafe. Understand that failure to clean up your mind will affect the state of the mind. Remember if your mind is intoxicated with these awful habits it will affect your attitude and approach to life. Hence, you do underground work, you must search your mind, and any habit that will negatively affect your approach to life must be expunged. This must be done if you want to make a difference.

Be Hopeful

Even in very hopeless situations where it seems that change is not possible be hopeful. You must see things differently if you want to make a difference. No situation is entirely hopeless. It is our perception of the situation that makes it look hopeless. Be hopeful. However, being hopeful entails a positive vision. What do you see about your troubled waters? Do you see yourself drowning? Or do you see yourself overcoming the tides and waves of your troubled water? 

The first picture is a true reflection of your inadequacy and hopelessness in the face of the challenges in life. And you can never find success under such a state of mind. The second picture depicts your resolve and commitment to overcoming your challenges. And making a real positive difference comes with this kind of mindset. The mindset that you can overcome challenges when you have done something well. There is a sense of fulfillment in succeeding in the face of challenges. 

Attitude

Attitudinal realignment is another step in the big change process. It entails dealing with every obnoxious attitude that stifles your happiness. You must realign your attitude to reinforce your quest for success in life. Know that there are attitudes for and against success in life. Through attitudinal realignment, you can identify and eliminate every attitude that is antithetical to positive change in your life. Your attitude is very important when it comes to making a difference in life. 

Attitude serves as a substructure upon which all other variables of success fit. Hence, we can categorically state here that what differentiates the fulfilled person from the unfulfilled one is their attitude. Attitude is the thin line that separates the both of them. It is obvious that whether you will be successful in life or not depends on your attitude.

Understand that with the right attitude, you can go the extra mile with regard to becoming exceptional in life. In addition to this, the right attitude can emancipate you from the shackles of failure and defeat in life. It affords us the opportunity to see life from a different perspective.  You can galvanize this right attitude for a unique world experience and make a difference. Basically, realigning your attitude is all about cultivating the right attitude. And it is the way forward for an exceptional life.

Get Novel Ideas

New and novel ideas are part of the process. You must be able to generate novel ideas if you want to make a difference in life.  These are not just ordinary but creative ideas. They are ideas that can produce results. They are ideas that can lead you to success and fulfillment in life. This kind of creative idea is a product of critical thinking. This kind of idea answers the question of what is to be done to make an impact in life. Ideas on how to turn things around will flood your mind each time you brainstorm over the reasons for doing what you do.

 Hence, you must have a good mental representation of your purpose in life. In addition, you must have a mental in-depth of the fundamentals of success as this will increase your chances of making a difference in life. Being successful in life is intrinsically tied to ideas. So endeavor to work on your mind to churn out ideas that will make a positive difference. Bad ideas undermine the quest for an exceptional life. So, you must train your mind to be composed, calm and calculative in the face of challenges.

Goal Setting

Goal setting is a vital aspect of the big change process. Goals define what you want to achieve, your aims, and your objectives in any given circumstance. There is no disputing the fact that you will always find fulfillment when you set goals and achieve them. Moreover, you will derive a sense of happiness and satisfaction when your set goals are achieved.

A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul – Proverbs 13: 19”.

You must set goals that you can achieve within a given time frame if you must make a difference and be happy in life. Such a goal must be unambiguous, realistic, and achievable. Failure to achieve set goals is not necessarily a result of bad time management but more a result of the nature of goals and objectives you set for yourself – whether such a goal is achievable within the time frame allotted to it or not.

Through our makeup, we can confront and overcome any challenge no matter how intimidating it may seem. That is why the state of our minds is very necessary as the achievement of goals to a large extent depends on it. Therefore we must see goal setting as a lifetime process to be taken one at a time – whether the goal for the day, week, month or year. The more we progress the more challenging the goals become. Finally, I will advise that you set challenging but realistic goals for yourself if you want to achieve them and be happy in life.

Assess Yourself

This is a critical part of the process of making a difference in life. Always conduct a routine check on your progress from time to time. Identify what area you have done well and celebrate your achievement. Ask yourself what you have done right and consolidate on them. These are your strength; you must capitalize on them in the pursuit of happiness in life. In the same vein ask yourself what you have not done well and make some amendments. These are your weaknesses and if you don’t make amendments they may undermine your quest for fulfillment. A proper evaluation of your mind is very essential and once you notice any bug in the process you must fix it.

Evaluating your life will help you in capacity building. Capacity building is one of the things that will help us to succeed and make a difference in life. Obviously, your ability to develop new problem-solving skills and techniques over a period of time is capacity building. And it is very important as it helps to handle challenges and hiccups in order to achieve set goals and objectives. It is all about improvisation in the way we handle tasks or responsibilities to achieve a desired result.  Assessing yourself is therefore imperative for making a difference in life.