Category: Lifestyle

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Self-Confidence: Quenching the Fire of Distrust

Self-confidence

Self-confidence is akin to the water that extinguishes the fire of distrust. Distrust is another element of the 3-D factors (or the 3 Fatal Ds) I mentioned in my book ‘The Threshold of Life’. Apart from discouragement, and distraction, distrust is another threat to success.

Distrust -Meaning

Distrust is the feeling that someone or something cannot be trusted or relied upon. It means to treat someone or something with a lack of confidence or with suspicion. It is the opposite of trust and the third factor you must deal with to have a successful and fulfilling life. Among the people you will come across not everyone will believe in you or your dreams. Distrust is a killer of dreams. It suppresses ideas and abilities. 

In the atmosphere of trust people tend to discover their talents easily. Novel ideas and abilities are unraveled where trust thrives best. A little dose of trust is a potent prescription for success. Trust is healthy for fulfillment. People are always happy when they are surrounded by people who believe in them or their abilities. On the other hand, distrust places an embargo on ideas and talents and limits the tendency to find fulfillment in life.

Beyond Reasonable Doubt

It is like a man to doubt the reliability of any idea until they are proven otherwise. The initial response to ideas from people is that of resentment. If you are a marketer you will understand better. You may have heard people say ‘I don’t buy the idea’. For people to buy your idea you must sell it to them, and for you to sell it to them you must ignore their initial resentment and convince them beyond every reasonable doubt.

People around you may not believe in you or your abilities, but you must believe in yourself. And to do that you must have self-confidence. Understand that not everybody will want to see you succeed in life, so you must be confident enough to believe that you can succeed in the pursuit of greatness no matter the challenge. And for you to do that you must believe in yourself. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe did say, “Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live”.

Self-Confidence the Way Forward

Hence, the best way to deal with the challenge of distrust and succeed in life is to trust in yourself. I know of a young man who had lofty dreams. He told people around him about these dreams. Many of those things as far as people were concerned were unimaginable and farfetched judging from his status then. Many did not believe him, they thought he was insane, and they virulently attacked him. But he did not give up and was able to achieve his dreams. Why? He believed in himself. He was confident, and he achieved his dreams.

Yes, people may not believe in you, it is very normal because not everybody will believe in you. Anyway, it is their own opinion; but don’t be so timid as to allow the opinion of others to affect your pursuit of happiness negatively. Others may not share in your dream but hold onto your dream. However, you have an obligation if you must overcome the challenge of distrust, you must have confidence within you. Believe in yourself, and hold onto your dreams. If it is necessary shut every antagonist out of your life, and close your ears to their virulent outbursts. 

Conclusion

Finally, self-confidence makes your journey to success an easy ride. It helps you ignore and overcome criticism. You don’t let people’s opinions influence your decisions or actions in life when you have self-confidence.  It will not only help you to overcome distrust but also help you overcome the challenge of discouragement and distraction.  Hence, with self-confidence as a person that knows your onions, you will stay focused and not be distracted in the face of distractions, and discouraging situations.

Get my book ‘The Threshold of Life‘ and read more about the topic.

Tune in for more exciting blog posts. Till then imagine, believe, and dare the impossible!

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Stay Focused: How to Guard Against Distractions.

To guard against the challenge of distraction you must stay focused. Staying focused is a premium attitude you must cultivate to deal with the negative effects of distraction. It is one of the 3-D Factors I mentioned in my book “The Threshold of Life”. Like discouragement, distraction is a fatal phenomenon and a threat to success. Distraction is anything that is not your intention. Whatever is not part of your vision or goal is a distraction. To get rid of distraction you must stay focused.

Take for instance, if your goal is to float a world-class IT firm and you have made the necessary arrangements for the takeoff. However, along the line, you purchased a car instead, not out of necessity but in luxury. That car is a distraction because it will affect the take-off of that IT firm which is your original goal. Similarly, anything that does not contribute to your advancement in life is a distraction to your success. Distraction is to lose focus. However, to succeed and be happy you must be focused-minded. The best option is to stay focused.

Set Your Eyes On the Mark

The best way to get rid of distractions and stay focused is to set your eyes on the mark. Don’t let your eyes off the mark. Focus on your target or goals, and avoid trivialities.

And Jesus said unto him, no man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God, (Luke 9:62).

Staying focused means only one thing, it means you are ready for business. Until you are focused you are a misfit to success. If you intend to succeed in life you must stay focused. Let your mind be in that pursuit if you dare to be successful. And let your soul flow into that pursuit. Set your eyes on your goals and everything will fall into place.

One Step at a Time

To stay focused you have to take a step at a time. Do one thing at a time. It is a distraction to do everything or to be everywhere at the same time. Trying to achieve different goals at the same time is also a distraction. It makes you lose focus. However, you must set your goals in bits. Achieve your goals one after another. Where one goal ends is where another goal begins.

 In wartime, a man was charged to keep custody of a prisoner of war, and while he was busy doing other things the prisoner escaped. Consequentially, he was punished severely for his mistake. Lesson, to be everywhere is to be nowhere. Don’t be so engrossed with trivialities as to allow an opportunity for success to slip out of your hands. Be focused; give your whole mind to your pursuit if you dare to succeed

Be Strategic

In staying focused you have to be strategic to know what is important and what is not. By being strategic your ability to discern between priorities and trivialities must be brought to bear. Priorities are our most important goals whereas trivialities are the least important ones. To live a successful life we must focus on achieving our most important goals that will optimally benefit us.

In pursuing success, you will have many goals simultaneously begging your attention. But any goal that is not your intention is trivial and does not deserve your attention. Give your priorities the much-needed attention. Do not divert your attention and energy to trivialities no matter how appealing or attractive they may look, that is a distraction.

Danger of Distraction

Let’s look at a case study that captures the essence of distraction and why it is important to stay focused. A ruler approached Jesus to come and heal her sick daughter. The daughter was twelve years old. On his way to the ruler’s house, a woman who had been plagued with the issue of blood came from behind and touched the helm of Jesus’ garment. The woman has suffered this sickness for twelve years as well. A twelve-year-old sick girl, and a twelve-year-old sickness. One was a priority, and the other a triviality. Both of them were seeking the attention of Christ.

Healing of the ruler’s daughter was a priority because Christ intended to heal her. On the other hand, the woman’s healing was a distraction even though it was good. It was the woman’s intention through her faith. Within the moment of that distraction, news came that the sick girl had died. Now imagine if Christ did not have healing power it would have cost the little girl’s life. Distraction is a fatal phenomenon, it is dangerous and deadly. Do everything to stay focused. Avoid distraction.

Understand that on the road to success, you will encounter many challenges begging for your attention simultaneously. However, any challenge that is not your intention does not deserve your attention. Do not divert your attention and energy to unimportant issues no matter how appealing or attractive they may look, that is a distraction.

Unfortunately, many have lost the opportunities to improve their lives and have a fulfilling life because of distractions. Be wise to guard your happiness and future with utmost carefulness. Stay focused and avoid distractions in your pursuit of fulfillment.

Get my book ‘The Threshold of Life‘ and read more about the topic.

Tune in for more exciting blog posts. Till then imagine, believe, and dare the impossible!

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3 Powerful Elements of Self-Encouragement.

Self-confidence

Self-encouragement is your guard against the challenge of discouragement. Cultivating this powerful attitude will help you to mitigate the issue of lack of enthusiasm, and loss of passion. Self-encouragement is about encouraging yourself in discouraging situations. Encouraging yourself empowers you, making you enthusiastic and passionate about achieving your goals. In one of my books “The Threshold of Life,” I mentioned discouragement as one of the 3-D factors (3Fatal Ds). Discouragement can be anyone or anything that does not motivate or spur you to success in life. It is a threat to success that you must deal with if you need a successful and fulfilling life. Sources of discouragement may include;

Circumstances of Life

Circumstances of life may be a discouragement to your success. These are situations or things that prevent you from becoming successful. Don’t allow your present challenges to discourage you from achieving your aim in life. Rather put them behind you and forge ahead. You must bury your past and present failures and face your future. Be excited, and have a burning passion for achieving your goals. It is only in doing so that you can succeed and find fulfillment. Don’t let circumstances around you dampen your can-do spirit and quench the passion to achieve. Many are easily discouraged by what they see or what happens around them. Self-encouragement is the answer when discouraging circumstances surround you

People

People around you can also be a source of discouragement to you. Most of the time, we are discouraged by what others say. One anonymous quote says; ‘One of the worst things you can do is to listen to those whose only words are words of discouragement or words like ‘I told you that you couldn’t do it’.

You must be careful; don’t let people around you discourage you from undertaking or embarking on a course that brings you happiness and satisfaction. Anyone even your loved ones and friends can be a source of discouragement.

 In 1997, I was having some crises and came to the point that the only option was to change base. I felt a strong urge to relocate. Immediately, I made up my mind and decided to talk it over with someone very close to me who instead of encouraging me ended up discouraging me the more. I became more discouraged than I was before then. I was determined so I decided to embark on that journey. That decision has paid off, and now looking back at time I am grateful to God for such a wonderful decision. Self-encouragement was the key. I encouraged myself. Always encourage yourself even if nobody does.

From that time forth began Jesus to show unto his disciples, how he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day. Then Peter took him and began to rebuke him, saying, be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. But he turned, and said unto Peter; get thee behind me, Satan… (Matthew 16:21, 22, 23). 

 What was Peter doing? He was discouraging Christ from embarking on a course of glory. Peter felt he loved Christ so much and wanted to protect him from impending harm and dangers. The same thing happens to us at times. Your loved ones may think they are protecting you from risks, heartbreaks, failures, and disappointments, but often they become overprotective, and end up discouraging you.

Most parents are guilty of this one offense. To them, their children must not suffer or go through what they went through. You better be careful as this is not good for your children. It will erode their self-confidence and deny them of their happiness at last. This is a bad trend. Don’t deny them the freedom to explore and discover themselves. Parents should give their children the opportunity to express their potential.

Three Steps to Self-Encouragement

Self-encouragement is a cocktail of three powerful elements namely;

Courage

Courage is the key word when it comes to self-encouragement.  We are discouraged when there is no courage or willpower left in us. So to encourage ourselves we must garner courage. One important attribute of courage is that it will always break through no matter the stern challenge. And according to Walt Disney, ‘All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them’.

You can encourage, motivate, and spur yourself to success if you are bold and courageous.

Foresight

The best way to deal with discouragement is to have foresight. You will develop an attitude of self-encouragement and learn to encourage yourself when you begin to look beyond the present and look at the future. Foresight is the ability to see what is likely to happen in the future and take appropriate actions. We can deduce that the concept of foresight is a fusion of three important elements of success namely; vision, judgmental prowess, and action. Hence, with foresight you can see your future; and take bold steps to actualize your goals in life by making daring decisions that will have far-reaching effects. These are long-range decisions that will lead to an incredible quest for success.

Foresight can help you imagine and paint a fascinating picture of your life in the future. It will help you become who you imagine or foresee. So if you see a picture of a future that holds a lot of happiness for you, pursue it. This becomes a goal or an aim in life. Tenaciously hold to your goals. You will find fulfillment if you can achieve your them.

Determination

Determination is the key to a successful life. Your self-encouragement must culminate in determination. Encourage yourself to the extent you are determined to succeed no matter the challenge. See yourself as unstoppable, and invincible in the face of challenges. With this element of self-encouragement, you will create the self-awareness of the need to succeed.

Determination has an element of discipline. You must discipline yourself to persevere and endure challenges. Through determination, you will understand that tough times don’t last but tough people do. And see your challenges as stepping stones to greatness not stumbling blocks or obstacles. Tell yourself, ‘I must succeed in life, I will not quit because of challenges’. This is self-encouragement. You have just encouraged yourself, be determined to make it real.

Conclusion

Finally, the ante dote that will prevent you from becoming a casualty of discouragement is self-encouragement. In tough times encourage yourself, even if no one does. Don’t let people and circumstances discourage you. To cultivate this attitude you must be bold and courageous, have foresight, and be determined. Above all, we should encourage ourselves in God.

Get my book ‘The Threshold of Life‘ and read more about the topic.

Tune in for more exciting blog posts. Till then imagine, believe, and dare the impossible!

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Selective Association: How It Can Motivate You to Soar.

collaborative culture

Selective Association is one big and important lesson we must all learn from the bird called the eagle if we ever dream of a fulfilled life. By selective association, the eagle doesn’t just mingle with any other bird but with fellow eagles. An eagle can soar higher than any other bird. Eagles can fly up to an altitude of about 10,000ft which no other bird can reach. The eagle is a bird of pride and always lives at the summit of trees, cliffs, and mountains where no other bird can.

Interestingly, the eagle at such great height can only mingle with other eagles. Therefore, you must associate with high flyers to succeed in life. Those ready to motivate you to soar and soar to greater heights with you. Endeavor to work with a team of fellow eagles. In the words of Major Collin Powell, ‘If you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar’.

Prerequisite of Success

Selective Association is a prerequisite for success. Hence, I recommend it to you if you must have fulfillment in life. It means selecting those you will associate with. Your association with people determines whether you will find fulfillment in life The selective association is not ego, pride, or arrogance. Rather it is all about doing the needful in the pursuit of fulfillment.

Go and check. Any great personality who has a fulfilling life selects some people to associate with. And Jesus the greatest of them all was good in selective association. Note that he selected twelve disciples out of the multitude that thronged him. And out of the twelve he chose three – Peter, James, and John. Apart from his disciples, he has another group closer to him. People who understand his vision and who he confided in. These people were closer to him and understood him better.

... When it was day, he called unto him, his disciples: and of them, he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles – Luke 6:13
And it came to pass about eight days after these sayings he took peter and john, and James, and went up into the mountain to pray – Luke 9:28
 When he came into the house, he suffered no man to go in save peter, and James, and John ... Luke 8:51

Target Likeminds

By selective association, you will target like-minded people who believe in you. And also in your dreams and will go to any length to support you in achieving your goals. This entails you working with a community or team of like minds. Although you must relate with some people you must also work with a select few. These are people who understand your vision very well. This is a closed group or team; if you like call it a community inside a community.

In party politics, they are called the caucus. Something like the GOPs in the case of the Republican Party in the United States. They are the board of trustees in organizations. In addition, if you are the working class in any organization. Understand that you and your co-workers are carefully selected through interviews to associate with one another. The aim is to achieve the goals and objectives of the organization.

Moreover, when you agree to work with such an organization you believe in their vision, mission statement, and core values. In other words, you and other staff believe in the organization’s philosophy. On the other hand, any staff that goes contrary to the organization’s core values is shown the exit door.

Why You Must Target Likeminds

Your happiness and satisfaction in any area of life depend on the people you associate with. So you must be careful in selecting these people. Surround yourself with people who have your utmost fulfillment at heart. Not people who will kill your dream before you actualize it. You must be selective in choosing the people you will associate with. This will help you deal with the problem of distrust.

Associate only with like-minded individuals, people with a success mentality. Endeavor to work with people who will motivate you to actualize your goals, people who believe in your dream. Discard those who lack confidence in you and your ability to actualize your dream. You will do this before they will kill your dream. Shield yourself with people ready to take the ‘bullet’ for you. Those that are willing to stand by you no matter the odds. These are people that will help you unpack your baggage of life. People who will help you live a happy and fulfilled life.

Culled from my book “The Threshold of Life “. Get your Copy and Learn more about Selective Association.

Imagine, believe, dare the impossible

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The Threshold of Life: A Must Read.

threshold of life

The threshold of life is a point in life where our expectation of fulfillment matches the happiness and satisfaction we derive from life, We can only reach the Threshold of life when we fulfill our motivation in every sphere of life. This fulfillment must serve a public good because you can only find fulfillment in life when others around you are happy. This book “The Threshold of Life” is loaded with many practical steps to help you;

  • Understand and put fulfillment within your reach
  • Understand the spiritual law of fulfillment
  • Make a big change in your life
  • Tame your fears and rise above your challenges
  • Deal with identity and career crises
  • Discover, unpack, and tap into your baggage of life
  • Hatch your dream into a legacy
  • Unleash the entrepreneurial spirit in you
  • Win more loyal customers for your business by satisfying their needs
  • Overcome depression and eliminate suicide from our society
  • Make your marriage and other relationships work
  • Cope with the sophistication of the post-COVID-19 world
threshold of life
Get your own Copy Now!!!

The Threshold of Life is Informative

It promises to offer more apart from the benefits enumerated above. In addition, you will discover some key strategies that will help you in your quest for a fulfilling life. New strategies like the KYS index, Selective Association, and The Retreat, Renew, and Re-launch Philosophy will help you to succeed and live your dream life. These new strategies are a fallout of my in-depth research on the successful lifestyle. And there are lots more to benefit from this book. Read this book and thank me later. It is sure to impact your life, business, career, and relationships positively. You are about to make one of the most amazing discoveries about life’s most elusive ingredient – fulfillment. You will also learn how to reach the threshold of fulfillment. It will teach you the hows of life.

First of all, you will learn how to make fulfillment your motivation in life. Then you will also learn how to make a big change in your life and start living the better life that you desire. It is ideal for the entrepreneur who wants to excel in business. The major motivation in business is not necessarily the maximization of profit but the fulfillment of your customers. The greatest motivation in business is to see your customers derive a sense of happiness and satisfaction from using your products and services. You will maximize profit and smile to the bank when your customers are fulfilled and satisfied with your products and services. Hence, the soul of every business is fulfillment.

The Threshold of Life is Captivating

This book will help you reach the threshold of success and find fulfillment in virtually every sphere of life. Do you seek happiness in your relationship? Are you experiencing crises in your marriage or friendship? This book is a must-read as it will help you fix your relationship and make it work again. What are the challenges you are facing in your relationship? This book will help you with practical steps to overcome them and attain a stable relationship.

It is also ideal for the employee who is neck-deep in a career crisis. Also for that employee who wants to maximize productivity and excel in his or her career, all the necessary steps you need to take are contained herein. And for you who want to succeed in life. Your dream is to excel and live a satisfactory and fulfilling life. Get this book for yourself and for everyone you want to give a gift of happiness.

The Threshold of Life is Explosive

Finally, for you who have been hit by the catatonic missiles of life, dejected, depressed, and in despair of life. Maybe you are experiencing a downward spiral in your life and you think that you cannot fix the broken pieces of your life. Is your circumstance so critical that you are even contemplating suicide? This book is a weapon in your hands; you need it to liberate yourself from the manacles of self-destruction. You will have fun reading this book as it is very interactive.

Included at the end of every chapter are some tasks to test your understanding of what you are reading. And to simulate real-life situations there are true-life stories to illustrate the strategies for a life of bliss. Make sure you put into practice everything you will learn from this book. You will be doing yourself a great disservice if you don’t. This book will usher you into a new threshold where you will experience deep-rooted fulfillment.