Month: January 2023

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The Beautiful Side of Life

the beautiful side of life

Dwelling on the beautiful side of life is a more potent way to nip this social menace called suicide from the bud. In my last post, I told you about a couple that lost their only son. They were inconsolable as it seems their world has ground to a halt. However, they were able to overcome it because they saw the beautiful side of life.

A certain man was depressed to the point of taking his own life, So, one day he decided to end his ‘miserable’ life by hanging himself. He pick up the rope and went into the bush. The story has it that after tying the noose around the tree branch the man decided to take his last moment of life. Within this final moment of life, he wants to have a sober reflection on life. While sitting under the cool shade of the tree that sunny afternoon he saw a ripe bunch of bananas in the nearby bush.

So he decided after all how nice it would be to have his last taste of the fruit. He plucked the banana fruit. And as he was eating the bananas under the cool shade of the tree he had another perception of life. He saw the beautiful side of life. In fact, he saw the sweetness of life. Life is sweet but it depends on the angle from which you view it. 

Eventually, the story ended with the man jettisoning the idea of killing himself. He was able to do this because he saw the beautiful side of life. On this side of life, there is every reason to live. Understand that no matter how unfair, unjust, and wicked life or the world may seem there are still people that love and care for you. Don’t think about your negative life experiences, ordeals, and failures.

Always Think on the Beautiful Side of Life

Always think about the beautiful side of life. So next time you contemplate taking your life think, you must reflect on the positive side of life. Relive your best moments or experiences of life. You may think about your family, your loved ones, and your friends. Think about the sorrow and the grief you will cause them. Think about those that will become widowers, widows, orphans, and childless, and the vacuum you will create in the heart of those that love you because of your obnoxious action. This can do a miracle. Understand that your life is so precious to God and that your family and friends, your community, and the entire world still need you.

Say no to suicide, it is demonic. It is an ill-fated wind that blows no one any good. You don’t need to die. Hang on a little longer. Understand the mystery of life. Life is full of surprises, and no condition is permanent. Your next encounter in life might be the one that will obliterate your many years of negative experiences in life. After all, tough experiences don’t last rather tough people do. Instead, be full of positive energy. Always think about the beautiful side of life. Together we can win the war against this social monster called suicide. Life is beautiful, don’t waste it.

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How to heal from Depression.

how to heal from depression

Do you know that depression is attributed to be the major cause of suicide? It is the last stage a victim gets before taking his or her life. It is reputed to be the underlying cause of suicide because it is the melting pot of all the aforementioned reasons. Shame, regret, guilt, financial loss, and terminal illness if not handled well initially could degenerate into depression. Depression is a state in life or a situation where one lacks excitement about life. This is a situation where life is seen as hopeless, meaningless, or not worthy of living. Many who have killed themselves cited ‘life not worthy of living’ as the reason for their action. 

Depression is a period of great sadness, grief, and sorrow for the victim. It is the inevitable end of an unfulfilled life. A detailed or in-depth analysis of depression may be far beyond the scope of this post. However, having a fair knowledge of it will still be useful in understanding why men commit suicide. Depression can also arise from emotional trauma caused by denial, loss of a loved one, loneliness, soured relationship.

Let me ask, how do you handle your feelings in the face of challenges in life? To a large extent, your feeling is an indicator of your emotions. Positive feelings like happiness and satisfaction translate to fulfillment while negative feelings like anger, unhappiness, and bitterness can be signs of a lack of fulfillment in life. And these negative feelings if not well handled can lead to an emotional breakdown and eventually depression. At this level, one experiences the rottenness or malaise of the spirit and soul. 

The State of Your Mind Matters

Hence, depression occurs when your soul or mind which is the citadel of your spirit, and your emotion is sick. At this point, the human spirit is no longer sound and becomes weak. And our mind loses the immunity to resist any external manipulative influence. In this state of the mind, we often lose touch with reality and our minds easily get corrupted with reasons why we must not live or reasons why life is so unfair to us and how nobody cares about us. So in the middle of crisis or challenging times we must utterly guard our minds to muster the strength to wade off any inordinate manipulation.

Moreover, whether you will conquer depression is a matter of your feeling. That you have money or you are rich does not mean you cannot be depressed. Money does not give happiness rather happiness is a choice we make. This is why as I mentioned earlier someone with the best brand, financially robust, and sophisticated with all the money in the world could still commit suicide. It still boils down to how we feel. Feeling defines our emotions and emotion is the key to fulfillment.

Your Feeling Matters 

How do you feel? You must feel good and great at all times no matter the odds of life against you. All of us must understand that the world we live in is an imperfect and rugged terrain. And that so long as we are here we are prone to adversity, challenges, and troubles. So the choice is ours to exhibit positive feelings even in the face of life-threatening challenges. We must choose to make ourselves happy even when no one does. Understanding this gives us an edge over depression. Are you under the plaque of depression in life? There is a remedy and this involves a healing process. Let us proceed to the next section where I shall explore the healing process for depression.

The Healing Process

Since depression emanates from the sickness or malaise of the mind we can aver that it requires a healing process. This healing process is not the one done by administering drugs or anti-depressants because there is no amount of drugs or anti-depressants that can heal depression. They can only suppress depression temporarily. And the depressed person in order to check this disorder may end up with the abuse of substances. This can result in drug addiction another social menace. Hence the solution to depression does not lie wholly in drugs as drugs can give us that temporary effect or feeling of relaxation. There is a healing process for depression.

Unburden Your Heart

A depressed person is like a sinking ship. And to salvage a sinking ship you must unburden it by throwing some of the loads overboard the ship into the water to lighten the ship.

And we being exceedingly tossed with a tempest; the next day they lightened the ship… And when they had eaten enough they lightened the ship, and cast out the wheat into the sea – Acts 27: 18, 38.

The first step to initiate the healing process is to unburden your mind. And to do this you must talk about your problems or challenges. Confide in someone. The more you share it with that person the more the pressure lessens, but if you don’t unburden and the pressure becomes so much it can break or weigh down your spirit. A couple lost their only son, initially, they were inconsolable. It seems that their world has ground to a halt. They cried until there were no more tears in their eyes. People, family members, friends, and well-wishers came around to comfort and encourage them to no avail. They were deeply traumatized by this great loss. The more people console them the more hurtful it became. This continued for months until they took the bold step to unburden their hearts.

He confided in me that the turning point came when he and his wife started to talk about their late son. His death brought them even closer. It became a routine that after everyone is gone when two of them are alone they will talk about their son. They would cry and at times laugh as they remember his life and how he has impacted their lives positively. By talking about their problem they were unburdening their hearts and it gets to a point his death never hurt them again instead they were happy and grateful to God for being part of his life. 

Confide In Someone

You must unburden your heart this is a sure way to handle depression. Talk about your problems in your most challenging moment. As you talk about it always emphasize only your ability to come out unscathed by depression. Discussing your problems will in a way diffuse the pressure of the burden. Like I said earlier the pressure may cause you emotional breakdown if you refuse to unburden your heart. Find someone to confide in, it could be your spouse, friend, counselor, or anyone you trust.  

Nevertheless, you must determine who to share your problems with. It is pertinent I chip in here that not everyone is qualified to be privy to your challenges. Not everyone is worthy to share in your problem even the so-called ‘professional’ counselors. They too have their own burden of problems and are also prone to depression. So you must be careful in choosing your own confidant. Records have it that some people are still susceptible to depression no matter their pedigree as regards depression. A typical example is the irreconcilable case of a US-based medical psychologist who committed suicide. This individual is supposed to be a rallying point or counselor to the mentally depressed or challenged person but he falls below expectations.

You Have a Confidant in God

On this note, I would like to introduce you to the most qualified person to share in your problems.

When your soul is cast down or depressed, and you are disquieted within your spirit, or you are at your lowest ebb in life. When there is no joy or peace within you and you are contemplating suicide as an option. There is always one person you can turn to – God. You must turn to him; he is your best confidant. Feel free to unburden your heart to him and ask him to fill every vacuum created in your mind and never again will you hurt within. You can also ask him to flood your mind with joy and peace. He will initiate and finish the healing process of your mind.

This is the best solution to this social menace called suicide. Once again we must embrace God, the owner and giver of life then we can have the courage to say no to this weird voice suggesting suicide.  Unburden your heart.

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Why People Commit Suicide. When Life Becomes Suicidal.

why people commit suicide

It is very important to know the reasons why people commit suicide. At least, it would afford us the opportunity to know why it is assuming an alarming dimension. And also to help us figure out how to curb it. As I did say in my previous post, suicide is an ugly trend that has permeated the different strata of human society. It is a social menace that has now assumed a dangerous and worrisome global dimension. I also said that an unfulfilled life is a hotbed of suicide this is because it opens up the door to some of the vices which if not well managed could lead to one contemplating suicide option.

In this post, I shall explore some of the reasons why people commit suicide do manifest in an unfulfilled life, and how to deal with them. And if we want to nip this malaise called suicide from the bud it is pertinent we know why people commit suicide. Obviously, we can only win the fight against suicide if we are well-informed about the reasons and bravely handle them. These vices include;

The Agony of Shame

The agony of shame is one of the reasons why people commit suicide. It comes in different forms and shades. It could be the shame of failure, betrayal of trust, or disappointment. And many because of shame have committed suicide. Instead of enduring the stigma of shame, they have opted for suicide. The Japanese samurai were notorious for this kind of suicide. They were known to be good at ‘honor’ suicide called seppuku or hara-kiri as it is called in the west. They prefer to die ‘honorably’ than to bear the shame of defeat or failure. Contrary to their belief there is no ‘honor’ in taking one’s life.

Hence, we can now see here how shame if left unabated can trigger the urge for one to take his or her life. Shame is a precipitation of an unfulfillment. They see their failure as a shameful thing and had to take their lives to end the shame. It could happen in any area of life, even in the area of personal values. For example, a well-known public official who has been entrusted with public funds reneged on his integrity and dipped his hand into the public till. He has fallen below expectations and betrayed the public trust.  And when he was caught and tried for embezzlement, he decided to take his life. Instead of living with the stigma of corruption or being labeled as an ex-convict, he decided to end it all.

The Big Deal

The big deal here is not for one to end one’s life. Everyone must understand that the stigma of shame does not end with the taking of their own life. The shame lives on even long after we are gone with our generation unborn. In fact, when one commits suicide the stigma is doubled coupled with the shame of failure. The best bet would have been to examine the probable reasons for the failure and defeat in life and work towards redeeming the situation. To do that you must tow the path of honor by planning well to avert the shame of failure.

Burden of Guilt

The burden of guilt is also another reason why people commit suicide. Guilt can degenerate into suicide if not well managed. When one is laden with the burden of guilt in one’s heart it could also make one consider suicide as an option. I know of a young girl who attempted suicide because of the guilt of stealing from her mistress. She was such a nice girl but yielded to the temptation of stealing and was caught red-handed in the act. The burden of guilt was so much on her because she had reneged on the good standard she was known for.

However, when the guilt became unbearable she fetched and drank insecticide to end her ‘miserable’ life. The effect of her action was calamitous as the corrosive substance ruptured her throat and she started vomiting blood. It took extensive surgery and Medicare to correct it. She would have killed herself all because of guilt, but she survived it.

Well, for the question of guilt as a reason for suicide, every one of us must understand that we are not superhuman. We are mere humans and as such not infallible. We can still make mistakes but we must as much as possible avoid regrettable actions that will bring guilt. Always think before you act. A lot of people act before they think which is why they always regret their actions and are saddled with the burden of guilt. The earlier we understand this, the better for us as it would curb the incidence of guilt as a reason for committing suicide.

Financial (Economic) Reasons

We can consider Financial or economic reality as a reason why people commit suicide or take their lives. However, it depends on the circumstance. Many have taken their lives because of negative financial or economic realities. Financial or economic realities like financial loss, bad loans or mortgages, poor standard of living, bankruptcy, and high indebtedness have made many take their own lives.

What is your financial or economic reality? Is it robust or are you struggling financially? Well, to handle financial problems you must understand that your life is worth more than all your financial assets put together. Whatever financial trouble you encounter is just temporal and does not warrant the taking of life. Understand that with innovative ideas you can bounce back on your feet financially. There are measures you must take to overcome financial challenges. These include properly investigating any investment you want to make as not all investments are healthy. Do not be motivated by greed in any investment you make rather take time to assess the risk involved. This will reduce financial loss to the barest minimum. 

Curtail Your Debt Limit

Also, you must try as much as possible not to overstretch your debt limit. In addition, you must not spend more than your income. All these are measures that will help you to effectively manage your finance, they also guarantee financial fulfillment. On the other hand, the government should consider improving the standard of living of its citizens. By investing in education, and health care services, curbing inflation, creating jobs, and boosting the economy. And by creating a more conducive environment for businesses to thrive. All these measures will make the economy robust and attractive to foreign direct investment (FDI). It will also improve the financial realities of the citizens.  

However, it is an irreconcilable fact how a person with one of the best brands in the world; financially sophisticated and robust can opt for suicide. Hence, if somebody who is stable with a positive financial reality could take his or her life then there is more to suicide than meets the eye.

Terminal Illness

This is another probable reason why people may consider the suicide option. Many people have taken their lives all because they were diagnosed with certain incurable illnesses. The issue here is not whether or not you have an incurable or terminal illness. But how well you are able to manage the situation. Are you contemplating taking your life because you are living with cancer, diabetes, HIV/AIDS, or any other terminal illness? The solution is not in killing yourself but in how well you manage the illness. 

It may interest you to know that many people who are diagnosed with these deadly illnesses are living longer than expected. Many of them are still living because they rose above the challenge of their illnesses and managed the situation well. Understand that terminal illness is not a death sentence or a hopeless situation as some would think but it depends on your attitude. Now that you have known why men commit suicide don’t kill yourself; you have the option to live well and long enough even with that terminal illness if you manage it well. Remember I told you earlier that there is more to suicide than meets the eye?

TO BE CONTINUED ….